I've received many queries through e-mail about certain things and I decided to set up this page to answer and respond to the most common ones. I also put up some questions and answers to things I figured I might receive down the road.
Q. Are you the Undertaker?
A. No I'm not. That's something I plainly state at a couple places on the site. I'm just a fan who decided to set up a site to express my sheer markdom (and cringe-dom, at times) regarding ol' Undie. Plus, I really doubt Taker would be vain enough to set up a site, under the guise of being a fan (and a chick one, to boot) to fluff his ego. That whole premise is kinda silly if you ask me.
Q. hi undertaker- send me a mesagge.mi adress is...
A. It's terrible to think that I've actually gotten a few like this. First, it's not wise to be giving your home address to someone you don't even know, based on some broad assumption. God, to those guilty of this, be glad I'm not one of those stalker nutsos. I also advise those of you who do this to be more careful in the future.
Q. Do you know Taker?
A. Nope. Don't know him.
Q. Have you ever met Undertaker?
A. A "nope" on that one, too, since the WWF, his agent, or a combo of both decide to keep his big dead ass on the eastern part of the state for autograph signings and I'm not about to play stalker and hit up their hotels when they're in the 'Burgh. Anyway, if I were to meet the Big Dead Redhead, let me assure you it would take all of my composure not to break down in helpless marking-out screams. :)
Q. How can I get a hold of you?
A. There are various ways, as listed on the index of the site. However, it's best to stick to good ol' e-mail. I'm awful sometimes regarding my 'net time so instead of waiting and waiting for me to hit MSN Messenger (which I do have) or something, just send me mail.
Q. Does 'Taker talk to his fans on the internet?
A. A big resounding, "NO!" to that one. I can't stress that enough. In fact, he's stated (WWF Byte This! interview) he doesn't chat with fans online or even surfs the 'net often. So if "Undertaker" is talking to you via an IM program of any kind (AOL, MSN, Yahoo!, Excite, etc.) or sending you e-mails, you can be assured it's some pathetic person who has nothing better to do but jerk your wires.
And for you who believe it, tisk, tisk. *shaking finger*
Q. What is Taker's e-mail address? I want to e-mail him.
A. I assuredly don't know that. I'm sure he has one for personal use (everyone does these days) but unfortunately he doesn't have a WWF-controlled address or anything where fans can send messages. Would be a nice idea, though.
Q. Why did you change the birth year from 1962 to 1965?
A. Well, after watching "This is My Yard," he mentioned in 1986 he started wrestling right after quitting college with 12 credits left, which would have been his senior year. And he's fuckin' lucky the wrestling thing panned out after doing such a thing but I digress. Anyway, I did the math and the usual college senior is about 21. Subtract 21 from 1986 and you get 1965. I also thought it fishy how, a couple years ago, the WWF site stated he was born March 24, 1965 and the next day 1965 was erased. It was almost like Mr. Kayfabe wasn't appreciative of that into coming to light. And who knows- maybe I'm still off the mark. However, you are free to prescribe to any date of your choosing and make the man as young or old as you like.
Q. Why do you think his last name is spelled Calaway? It's Callaway, Calloway, Calloaway, etc.
A. After the kayfabe walls started breaking down, we began to know a bit more about him. And many pieces featuring him spelled it Calaway. Even one of the WWF's sites, WWFParents.com, in their "Superstar" section, spells it as Calaway.
Q. I like Taker, Dudleys, Hardys, Stone Cold, Rock, Lita, Trish, APA, Big Show, yada, yada, yada. When will they be signing autographs?
A. I like wrestling but, sorry, I'm not a walking Palm Pilot when it comes to every current wrestling appearance, show, etc. So I advise you to head to WWF.com, where you can find all of that under their "Live Events" menu. But if you want to avoid the pop-up madness there, I'll take some pity on you and give you the direct link for appearances, which is here. And, yes, appearances is misspelled in the link but that's how the bright light bulbs in the WWF web dept. spelled it.
Q. Was that the real Sara with Taker on TV?
A. Yes it was. And I'll stop at that so as not to get myself into too much trouble. :) However, before you think I'm too terrible for not liking Sara's presence, what I've said has been mild, compared to some places that are fuckin' scary and literally want her head on a stick.
And to spare myself the crap from the "yur jealuss" crowd, I'll break it down for you folks =again=. I don't dislike her based on the fact she's married to him. I just dislike the fact she's weaseled her way onto the TV. It irks me that she moved above many divas in the chain of things, based on who she's bagged as a hubby.
And for someone who supposedly wanted nothing of the spotlight, I find it kind of strange that she's wanting to be back in the swing of things, with the Diva shoot and then "training" to be a 'rassler. Little fishy for me when she goes from "I'm helping out Mark and having some fun" to "I love this fuckin' shit- more, more, more!!" in about three seconds.
Q. Why do you call Undertaker names and say bad stuff about him if you're supposed to be a fan of his?
A. Guess you're referring to such names as Big Dead Dork, American DumbAss, Big Dead Redhead, and Curtainjerker Calaway among others I use. Well, it's used as more of a term of affection than to diss him. However, it can be interchangeable, depending on how far he's stepped into the bullshit. Weird, yes, but that's how it is. I can't understand why it gets people's panties in a bunch. I'm sure the man himself has a sense of humor and wouldn't take it personally if he saw it. Or at least I hope not. ;)
I do tend to be critical of him and some of the shit he's gotten into. But, hell, what can I say? I'm a fan, not a "bride", "creature of the night", ATM (Addicted To Mark), ABMC (American Badass Motorcycle Club) member, or whatever else that segment of the fanbase are going by now. As a fan, I don't have to agree with everything he does. There have been moments where I've wanted to find the nearest couch to hide under and say, "holy shit- what the hell is this asshole thinking?" And there have been times I've screamed more than a 12-year-old at an NSYNC concert- we're talking positively shameless behavior here, folks. And since the latter (the markfests) outweigh the former (the hiding and cursing), he's earned the spot as my all-time favorite wrestler.
I also don't equate fandom to being a lemming, therefore thinking everything he's been involved in was nothing short of inspired. Because Lord knows this guy has been involved in fucked up stuff on a few occasions.
And if I weren't a fan, answer me this:
- Why in the blue hell would I dedicate mucho web space and shitloads of time on a site dedicated to him if I thought he was a walking piece of big Texan shit?
*tapping foot, waiting for your answer* Yeah, thought so- no retort to that one...
Overall, I really have to snitch off of a site I dig and say this: I hit hardest on those I like the most. I might pick on him a lot but, dammit, deep down I have mucho respect for the Deadman. I do stuff like make fun of his "I'm gettin' older and feelin' sexy" skin bearing thing, pick on his motorcycle choices, and groan because his general on-screen behavior is eerily similar to many of the boys I know but it doesn't make me a terrible person or any less of a fan of his.
Q. Are you one of those wrestling smarks that hate Taker? All of them do.
A. OK, let me break it down for you. I'm a smark but I don't follow the trends on the 'net regarding who needs to be on my shit list every week. My shit list is pretty consistent. I think that lemming stuff is pathetic. Plus, if I hated Taker so much, I wouldn't spend a lot of time working on a site dedicated to him, right?
Q. Why do you call him Calaway, instead of Mark?
A. That's what I use to distinguish him from the character. There are two things going on there: the wrestling personality and the guy who portrays it. And since I am unlike a lot of fans who feel they know him well enough to call him "Mark" all the time, I stick to Calaway to distinguish. It's also kind of a redneck thing- a lot of the boys around here, I call them by their last names.
Q. Why don't you have much personal stuff about him on your site?
A. First, I feel whatever he does back at home and away from the cameras is his business. Second, it seems that things regarding his private life tend to spark stupid-ass bickering. And third, the man's so private no one knows hardly anything and what they don't know, they tend to make up.
Q. Why don't you have videos, sounds, and stuff on your site?
A. One, places like Tribes of the Moon and The Corrupted Crypt have done it so much better that anything I could do and tack up here. Two, it also takes a lot of time and patience to do it, both things I'm short of these days and why I give both Kanike and Sabretooth mad props.
Q. You refer to rednecks a lot when talking about Taker. What is a redneck?
A. Taker's a redneck, plain and simple. And has even referred to himself as being one. And since I know about it and am willing to spread the knowledge, I'll give you the condensed version of redneck-dom. This is pretty much the guy version, however some of this can apply to the gals who run with the pack.
Well, rednecks are well...different. They aren't all sister-fuckers (I can't rule it completely out; I've seen some folks in my years who look like their family tree doesn't fork) straight off of Springer. Mainly, they're good ol' boys (and girls, in cases).
Love their trucks, love their bikes, love their cars, and love waxing on and on about and tinkering with the formers. They also love automobile stores and catalogs. Regarding modes of transportation, the louder the exhaust and the higher the lift kit, the better. Riding in these beasts can be an earth-shattering thing, especially if the big stereos are also cranking.
Now onto some of the socialization things:
They love beer and hard liquor and can party with the best of them. The guys are interesting to watch when they try to do any kind of fast dancing, especially if they've had too much booze coursing through their systems. This is quite a sight- one of those "you have to be there to see it" things. However, the weird thing is many of them are really good slow dancers, even when said alcohol is still in the system. Regarding the chicks, we do tend to get wild on the dance floor, especially under the influence of alcohol.
Also when there's too much Beam or JD going through their system, the guys also can and will seranade the ladies with such romantic classics as "Hair of the Dog" and "Devil Went Down to Georgia." Sad to say, I've had the former happen to me. ;)
They dig chicken wings, BBQ, and pretty much all that good bad for you stuff. The former also gives a hell of a good reason to get together, too.
Rednecks also like playing pool. I think it's for the socialization as much as the competition. So we own pool sticks (mine is a Budweiser one), just in case the opportunity arises to play a few games. And in my case, definitely socialization because I just suck at pool.
Their language (and jokes they tell) a lot of times is nothing short of salty. Yeah, that's where I picked up my penchant for profanity...I'll blame it on them. :)
They will actually analyze the taste of various whiskeys. And just in case you're interested, Beam Black (Jim Beam- black label) has a very smooth aftertaste, like Wild Turkey. This has unseated JD for the time being as favorite whiskey. Jack Black aka JD (Jack Daniel's) has a more wicked punch. Crown Royal also has an initial punch, but goes down pretty smooth. And Southern Comfort is more of a chick whiskey.
And, overall, they're a fun bunch of fuckers to be around. Might take a few years off your life when they really get into the wild shit but it's worth it.
Some wave both the Confederate and USA flags proudly. Patriotism runs wild with most of this crew, whether it's for the USA or the Old South. And regarding the hot topic of the Confederate flag- I'd say about 95% of rednecks who wave the Dixie flag (Northern ones, at least) dig it just based on the fact the South had the balls to say, "fuck you," cecede from the Union, and fight for what they believed in (even if it was fucked up).
Rednecks like guns, hunting, and fishing. They've grown up around it so it's like second nature sometimes; at 9 or 10, you learn to shoot and when you're 12, you get a license. That's why we do get pissed when some people think that if you've grown up around guns, you automatically become a bloodthirsty individual. We know better because, from a young age, we've seen what guns can do (those deer didn't die of natural causes) and show much respect for firepower. Well, there are exceptions to the rule but real rednecks and sportsmen in general really frown upon those who don't hold firearms, weapons, hunting, trapping, and fishing in a regard that is nothing short of respectful.
They can be narrow-minded at times when it comes to things outside of the fold. Okay, most of them are narrow-minded about things- I won't mince words about it.
Clothing-wise, they wear jeans (classic or relaxed cuts), t-shirts, ballcaps, tank tops, and camo. Also, they have at least one pair of work or hunting boots. Some also do the cowboy thing with the boots and hats.
There are also some differences between Northern and Southern rednecks, or so I have been told.
Rednecks dig sports, whether participating in them or being the armchair quarterback. Auto racing (NASCAR) and football ranks high on lists, followed by baseball and then hockey.
And when you break through this exterior, the guys do have a sensitive side. Quite an amazing thing, taking into consideration their personalities. And they'll swear on their Chilton book they're not like that. However, I've had enough quiet times with them to know otherwise.
But even with their faults (as everyone has), overall, they're a cool bunch of guys (and gals). There you have it- a slight overview of the redneck world.
Q. Can I use your pictures on my site?
A. Depends on what you're lookin' at. If you want some of my graphics, backgrounds, or digital art I created for the site, I'll give you a quick, "No way, Jose" on that because they are my property and were made for this site exclusively. But for general pictures, as long as you ain't remote loadin' and maybe even extend a bit of kindness in a form of a bit credit and reciprocal link (I know- I'm stretching it) go ahead and download away.
Q. Can I put your link on my site?
A. Sure- why not? Publicity is always welcomed. :) Plus it also gives me some new sites to check out. But if you do, make sure to mail me with your site's URL and I'll put one on mine. And what the hell- if you have a banner, just give me a link to get it myself or attach it to the e-mail and I'll add it on my links page.
Q. What is the "Foley Complex" you talk about?
A. It's a made up name to regard how I feel about seeing Undie in the ring at times. When I watch all that man take a pretty good bump, I cringe and think of the man's bad hips, ankles, back, etc.
It stems from Mick Foley and the crazy-ass bumps he'd take, even towards the end of his career. Being a smark and knowing how much shit he put himself through all those years, seeing him take wicked bumps and such would make me worry, knowing how beat up his body is and was. This worry, usually combined with an involuntary flinch and grimace, is what I call the Foley Complex.
And since I tend to do the same thing regarding Undie at times, the name continues to float around my lingo. I could call it the "Calaway Complex" I suppose, but I'm too set in my ways.
Q. Why don't you have a Sara section?
A. Well, first of all, is an Undertaker site. And being as such, Mrs. Calaway is not getting a section based on the fact she stunk up the TV. Especially so because the tailor-made angle had to be mercilessly killed after it evolved from dancing around on the toilet seat to taking the deep plunge into the shitter. Hell, I actually felt sorry for DDP, who was sucked into it for his WWF début. And I had many a Monday and Thursday night were I saw Taker on TV and said out loud, "You politicking asshole...Christ, the Ministry was better booked by ten-fold, compared to this."
Also, my pretty venomous opinions regarding her should be a crystal clear indication that I'm not sucking up webspace for one of those "Biggest Bitch in the Yard" or "Mrs. Badass" or "Sara is greatprettyhasnicehairandbodyandmarriedtotakershessocoolyeahyeahyeahlol" sections some sites have. In my opinion, Taker and Sara ain't a package deal so if I don't like her WWF presence (mainly how she got there) I'm free to say so.
Q. What happened to your message board and chat room?
A. Lack of time and lack of participants. But maybe down the road one of these days, I'll bring one or both back if there's a general interest.
Q. I heard that The Undertaker now isn't the same Undertaker from the 90s. Is it true?
A. This has floated around since a parody site called The Darker Sanctuary said that Mark Calaway hung up his boots in the mid 90s and his cousin (Bocephus- I just loved the name: reminds me of Hank, Jr.) stepped in. The objective was to rile up some of the fans (who just might not be playing with a full deck) and that it accomplished. And even though he sure as hell doesn't look the same as he did in 1990 and ditched the theatrical makeup, Calaway's always been The Undertaker.
Q. I'm a new fan of Taker's. You've talked about "The Ministry" and said it was awful. What is it?
A. First of all, be glad you missed it. :)
The Ministry started in January of 1999. Taker was AWOL for a few months in 1998, with reports from the more legit sites saying he was injured and taking time off to heal. I will say, if they didn't do the highly goofy shit, the idea of a stable led by Taker wasn't a half bad idea- about damn time they let someone do his dirty work.
Anyway, this shit started with Dennis Knight, who was a Goodwin at this time, being kidnapped by the Acolytes. There were a couple vignettes where Faarooq and Bradshaw (who looked really delicious at this time in a tight shirt and black leather pants) standing guard in front of a dungeon thing. Eventually, Knight escaped or something and would babble to the announcers and wrestlers about "he" or some shit like that.
So one night, they have this whole thing set up with Dennis, in some kind of lamé gown, gut exposed, lying on a table and the WWF stage set up like something out of a B-grade horror movie, fog machine, sacrificing table, throne, and all. We're set up for a sacrificin', folks. And here comes our master of ceremonies- Undie in a blue bathrobe. Actually, I really felt sorry for the bastard because as he was doing this, his poor hands were shaking and he was stuttering through his lines. Thank God most of it was in chants (taken straight out of Excalibur) because at least you could hide the fuck-ups with that. When I saw all of this, I was just shocked as shit, as was the audience.
Now in our tale, we have Dennis Knight as Mideon and later King Mabel, with blonde mohawk, garbage bag clothes, and cool contact lenses, would become Viscera. Add to that the Acolytes, The Brood (Gangrel, Edge, Christian), Taker himself, and a reluctant Kane for a spell and you have the Ministry of Darkness. They also later had a hype over "The Greater Power" who ended up being Vince, leader of The Corporation faction, in a really awful egocentric booking move. And with this, they then became the Corporate Ministry (thought I'd say Brady Bunch, didn't ya?). The CorpMin ruled WWF TV since about half the roster was in it, like HHH, Chyna, Big Bossman, the Ministry guys, Vince McMahon, and Shane McMahon.
Now onto the highlights or the lowlights, if you prefer. They almost had a Black Wedding after some stalking and a kidnapping of Stephanie. Taker had a short feud with Kenny Shamrock over his "sister". Taker "sacrificed" her but not without feeling her up first. Actually, looking in hindsight, he did inject a certain amount of sexuality, even though twisted, into this. Christian spilled the beans about something and Taker let his S&M side shine through with a flogging. And even Taker was hoisted up on his symbol high above the ring. Paul Bearer also got the same treatment, however it was the Rock's Brahma Bull instead. They also did the break of kayfabe thing and referred to him as "Mark" and said that "Mark" was living his "Undertaker" gimmick 24/7. This ended after a couple days because I figured Calaway wasn't happy with that, since he was still Mr. Kayfabe at this time. Then add the CorpMin aspect, and it was really sucktacular. All it ended up boiling down to was Austin v. McMahon, something that's been rehashed in some form since 1998. As you can tell, this wasn't Must See TV, folks. He also had his third Heavyweight Title reign during this time but it was marred due to the fact he really couldn't defend it all the time because he was injured.
They broke the CorpMin up in July of that year and axed the angle. Then Taker started inching towards a biker gimmick. While he still dressed like a Froot Loop and talking in the old Lord of Darkness voice, he was throwing out lingo and started saying things like "Brother Paul" and the "Old Local 81" and talking about Harleys. He took on Big Show as a "student" and would beat the piss out of him when he'd do something wrong. He'd also do some color commentating during Show's matches. And the funniest moment of it was all the sudden he said, "Excuse me," got up, walked over to Show, and bitch-slapped him while asking, "Do you want the knowledge?" After that little scene, he sat down again and calmly put on his headphones and resumed commentating. Anyway, his whole commentating deal was a pretty cool thing and even though he seemed kind of nervous starting out, ended up doing a pretty good job of it.
Even though his angles during this time sucked all hell, the worst thing about all of this was he was injured. In early '99, he really stayed out of the ring but as the year went on, he got in there more and more. By the time September came, he had a torn groin muscle and was really, really, really hurting and I wouldn't even want to imagine how many meds he was on during this time for the pain just so he could walk through the damn curtain. I still remember a match where he had to put the steel steps together so he could make it back on the ring apron. He was so deteriorated that, as a fan, it really hurt to see him like that and then continue to shuffle along.
But even in that condition, the moron wasn't going to leave and from a Vince Russo (former writer for the WWF) interview, Russo said they had to write him out of the show and force him go home. So at the end of September of that year, at a Smackdown, they created an angle for him to exit. It was set up where Vince "ordered" Undertaker to do a match that night and Taker "refused" and walked out of the building, into the night.
So there you have it- a slight overview of Taker's 1999 wrestling career. He took close to 9 months off and returned in May of 2000 with the biker gimmick.
Q. Has Taker seen your site?
A. Honestly, I don't know. And I better not get any of those goddamn "I'm the Undertaker and I saw your site" e-mails after saying that because from looking at this site, I think you'd figure I don't buy that shit.
Anyway, I do figure he does the 'net thing from time to time (unless you live under a rock you can't escape it) but whether he ever delves into the UT online fan sites, I don't know. I've heard rumors that he's visited a site or two but who knows whether this one was also a pitstop?
If he ever were to venture onto my little piece of cyberspace I hope he would think it was a cool site, even though it's not a "I'd kiss his size 16 boots and the ground he walks on" sappy lovefest one. I also hope he has a sense of humor and can take criticism or else I'm in deep shit. ;)
Q. Do you think Taker's cute? You never seem to say anything about his looks.
A. I should refer you to some of the boys and let them answer. :) They still can't get over the fact I said he was good-looking. You would think they'd cut me some slack, him being redneck brethren and all.
Honestly, I don't think he's a classically handsome fellow. But he's got character and I'd take a second look at a guy with some character about him than a pretty boy any day. I also think Taker's got this intangible thing about him that adds to the attractive factor. I'm sounding like a total weenie by saying that but I think it's true. Then add in the a slight swagger (probably more the result of years of injury instead of attitude), a bit of take-no-shit attitude, the redneck thang, plus he appears to be confident and comfortable in his skin: the final result is he ends up being a pretty hot number. ;) Actually, when I first built this site, I did have a little page dedicated to what I thought was attractive about him but took it down as the site grew.
Q. Who are "the boys" you talk about?
A. There's two answers to that question. I refer to some the wrestlers as "the boys." So if I'm talking in a wrestling context and mention "the boys," more often than not I would be referring to the wrestlers. And I also collectively refer to that crazy and varied pack guys I know as "the boys."
Q. What are you like?
A. Well, where should I begin? If you'd like to know a bit more about me, I do have a little page dedicated to myself (I've got such an ego *g*), located here. There's much, much more that makes me tick than what's on the page but it might give you a broad idea as to who I am.
Q. Why don't you do some fanfic? You're a good writer.
A. To be blunt, it's not my bag. I don't mean disrespect in that, but I'm not a huge fan of fan fiction and am not interested in writing it. Plus, I'm not nearly creative enough to do it if I even entertained the thought, however this is obviously not a prerequisite; some I've seen had nothing to do with creativity. The only creative aspect was getting as pornographic as possible and conveying every single fantasy they've had in however many years of their lives to written word.
However, I do know of a few who enjoy it and are good at their craft. For example, someone I know has written an entire series and I do dig her stuff because she does it right and puts a lot of thought and creativity into it.
Q. What's your site URL?
A. I guess this must be popping up in the search engines or something because it's actually happened; people found this page before they found the site. So, just in case you're one of those souls, click here to experience The Phenom.
Q. Can you help me build a site?
A. As you can see, I have a hard enough time working on this one and it's impossible to help someone else to do theirs step-by-step. However, for those of you wanting to still undertake the project, I'll give you a few links to get you started and a couple pieces of advice if you still want to throw your hat in the ring.
http://www.htmlgoodies.com
http://www.javascript.com
http://www.geocities.com
http://www.tripod.com
http://www.fortunecity.com
A little advice...
1. A lot of midi, wav or mp3s on your page and no way to shut them off is annoying
2. Don't steal other people's graphics unless they note it's fine. Webmasters/mistresses (including myself) are protective of their work.
3. Go to http://www.losers.org to find out what =not= to do and go from there.
4. Learn how to downsize pictures; there's nothing more annoying for people with dial-ups than to have to wait for one hundred, 100 KB pictures to load.
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